Steve Woods

The Bald and the Beautiful

In What Day is it? on October 14, 2009 at 4:59 pm

“When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that’s up to them.”   ~ John Glenn

How much do we really care what is up there?

How much do we really care what is up there?

Today is the day that we celebrate those of us that no longer go through the daily routine of reworking their lovely locks, those fun-loving individuals who have released all worries about ever having a bad hair day. I’m talking about men who have gone all the way, shaving off even the fuzzy side-kicks and embracing their bold, beautiful scalp.

A quarter of all men worry about losing their hair as they age, while as many as 70% of all men suffer some level of hair loss through their lives. This disparity tells us that almost half of all bald men really never cared about losing their hair to a great extent. Of those that did worry, what were their main concerns?

The typical worries that men have about becoming bald are:

  1. That they will no longer be considered sexy.
  2. That they will appear older than they really are, losing out on opportunities due to age discrimination.
  3. That they will lose some level of respect from their well-coiffed peers.

Oh, we try and try to stave off the inevitable, don’t we? We eye (and buy) the special minty shampoos and conditioners, praying that the tingle will awaken a scalp-born forest of confidence. We rub and brush and apply our Rogaine religiously, washing our hands afterwards in fear that our hands will look like Teen Wolf. And we follow every bit of advice provided to us, in the hope that for us at least, perhaps it will work….

What are the common myths surrounding hair loss?

  1. Standing on your head will not increase circulation to the scalp, nor will it increase hair growth. But it might make that whole loss of respect of peers thing accelerate…
  2. The frequent wearing of a hat or cap will not cause baldness. But it might affect your sex life…
  3. Frequent styling with blow dryers and curling irons may break hair, but will not lead to permanent hair loss.
  4. Overly tight corn-rows or pony tails can cause a great deal of breakage, but not baldness. But Dude. Ponytails are so passé….
  5. Vitamin deficiency does not cause male pattern baldness. Vitamin deficiency causes issues all over your head, not just in the part on top.
  6. The more sex you have does not indicate the rate at which you will lose your hair. But you can pretend that you did not hear that from me…
  7. Hair loss is not determined by the men on your mother’s side of the family. Grandpa George didn’t cause your increasingly shiny scalp, no matter how many times he rubbed that scruff of yours when he saw you growing up, or by having helped create dear old Mom so many years ago. Heredity from both sides of the family tree helps to determine if and when you may suffer from (or enjoy) hair loss.
  8. Washing your hair daily will not lead to baldness, as many shampoos and conditioners actually aid in moisturizing your hair, preventing excess breakage.
  9. Brushing thinning hair will not make it fall out faster, unless you are extremely excessive in the length of time spent and the ferocity with which you brush. Conversely, brushing your scalp will not increase grow-back.
Need I say more? C'mon...

Need I say more? C'mon...

Are all the worries about losing our hair well-founded? If over time you see more and more of that scalp peering back at you in the bathroom mirror, will your love life, career and friendships suffer? Perhaps not…

Men that have fully come to terms with and accepted their baldness are proud to say:

  1. They save money overall, rarely opening their wallets for shampoos, and never for conditioners, styling products and sprays. Sun block, however, may still be in order, as nothing smarts worse than a bright burn on top…
  2. They have more time in their day, no longer needing to waste time styling their hair or checking it in the mirror from time to time. They are perfect and stay that way no matter what, right?
  3. There is no longer an issue with dandruff (although a shiny pate might need to be rubbed down from time to time…)
  4. You can wear a helmet and ride a motorcycle without worry of mussing up the curls. Convertible top down? Dude, who cares, unless you haven’t anchored down that Big Mac!
  5. You are a scion of manly-man-ness. God felt a need to provide you, yes you with a plethora of Testosterone. Lord it over your friends and enemies, and you will never lose their respect…
  6. Jean Luc Picard. Sean Connery. The Rock. Enough said, you might as well be a movie star, because you sure look like one! Some bald men have noted that since they embraced their baldness, they exhibited a greater level of confidence, and actually enjoyed a more full sex life.
  7. “Marvelous” Marvin Hagler. Michael Jordan. Charles Barkley. Jay Buhner. Mark Messier. Zinedine Zidane. Kelly Slater. Matt Hasselbeck. Kevin Garnett. Brian Urlacher. Do your best to make sure the ladies see you as belonging to that mighty sports god fraternity.
  8. You can grow a goatee and look like a biker bad-ass anytime. And you can do it with a latte in hand and a copy of Twilight in front of you, tear running down your face as Bella and Edward enjoy that first forbidden kiss…. Face it, nobody is going to bother you with that awesome man-stache…

I don’t care if they call me “baldie” or “chrome dome.” God took an eraser and brushed my head clean. I’d rather be bald on top than bald inside. ~ Joe Garagiola

You determine how you are viewed...

You determine how you are viewed...

If you find yourself balding, remember this. No matter how you feel about your hair loss, you held the power to determine how you viewed your life before this worrisome discovery. You decided whether or not you would let things get to you, and you made adjustments in yourself and how you viewed the world around you when you did not like what you saw in it.

Now that there will be fewer strands on that fine, wonderful head of yours, you still have the power to define how you perceive and are perceived. You determine how baldness will be viewed, by how you wear it, and how you project it. You can decide if you are truly losing something, or gaining an opportunity to redefine yourself.

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